A Customer calls a UNIX consultant with a question
      ==================================================

Customer:         What is the command that will tell me the revision
                  code of a program ?

UNIX consultant:  Yes, that's correct.

Customer:         No, what is it ?

UNIX consultant:  Yes.

Customer:         So, which is the one ?

UNIX consultant:  No. 'which' is used to find the program.

Customer:         Stop this. Who are you ?

UNIX consultant:  Use 'who am i' not 'who r you'. You can also 'finger 
                  you' to get information about you'.

Customer:         All I want to know is what finds the revision code ?

UNIX consultant:  Use 'what'.

Customer:         That's what I am trying to find out. Isn't that true ?

UNIX consultant:  No. 'true' gives you 0.

Customer:         Which one ?

UNIX consultant:  'true' gives you 0. 'which programname'

Customer:         Let's get back to my problem. What program?
                  How do I find it?

UNIX consultant:  Type 'find / -name it -print' to find 'it'.  
                  Type 'what program' to get the revision code.

Customer:         I want to find the revision code.

UNIX consultant:  You can't 'find revisioncode', you must use 'what
                  program'.

Customer:         Which command will do what I need?

UNIX consultant:  No. 'which command' will find 'command'.

Customer:         I think I understand. Let me write that.

UNIX consultant:  You can 'write that' only if 'that' is a user on 
                  your system.

Customer:         Write what?

UNIX consultant:  No. 'write that'. 'what program'.

Customer:         Cut that out!

UNIX consultant:  Yes. those are valid files for 'cut'. 
                  Don't forget the options.

Customer:         Do you always do this ?

UNIX consultant:  'du' will give you disk usage.

Customer:         HELP!

UNIX consultant:  'help' is only used for Source Code Control System (SCCS).

Customer:         You make me angry.

UNIX consultant:  No, I don't 'make me' angry but I did 'make
                  programname' when I was upset once.

Customer:         I don't want to make trouble, so no more.

UNIX consultant:  No 'more'? 'which' will help you find 'more'.
                  Every system has 'more'.

Customer:         Nice help! I'm confused more now!

UNIX consultant:  Understand that since 'help' is such a small program,
                  it is better not to 'nice help'. and 'more now'
                  is not allowed but 'at now' is.
                  Unless of course 'now' is a file name.

Customer:         This is almost as confusing as my PC.

UNIX consultant:  I didn't know you needed help with 'pc'.
                  Let me get you to the Pascal compiler team.

Johan Persson <2397>