These hotel signs are supposed to be true. Do you know any others?

On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to Russia, you are welcome to it.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. 

In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order. 

In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk. 

In a Croatian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily. 

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension. 

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for. 

On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion. 

In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose. 

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar. 

In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today – no ice cream. 

In a Warsaw (or was it Acapulco?) hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here. 

In an Estonian (or Japanese?) hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. 

In a hotel outside of Ankara (or Tokyo?): Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis. 

From a Moroccan (or Japanese?) information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

In a hotel in Split, Croatia: In case of fire, you are kindly asked to be disciplined by the staff.

Other signs

Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.

Outside a Tokyo (or was it Hong Kong?) tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation. 

Similarly, from the Russian Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Russian Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years. 

A sign posted in Germany's Black forest: It is strictly forbidden on our Black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose. 

In a Portugese (or Bangkok?) dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results. 

In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours – we guarantee no miscarriages. 

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions. 

In a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty. 

In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases. 

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: – English well talking. – Here speeching American. 

In an advertisement by a Turkish (or Hong Kong?) dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists. 

Advertisement for donkey rides in Greece (or Thailand?): Would you like to ride on your own ass? 

In a Greek monastery (or Bangkok temple?): It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man. 

In a Romanian (or Tokyo?) bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts. 

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When a passenger of foot heace in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstracles your passage then tootle him with vigor.