The Salvation Army (SA) sends its officers all round the world. So
in the first decade of 1900 two officers' families met in Japan: de Groot
from the Netherlands and Wiberg from Sweden.
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Hugo was a son of Sven and Lotten Wiberg. (The same Sven
that nearly scared me to death 44 years later.) In 1914, when Hugo was
15, his father was transferred to Japan as Principle of the Japanese Training
College.
Frieda was the only daughter of Johannes and Leonarda de Groot, Dutch
officers who also had served in Java and were sent to Japan in January
of 1916. She was the same age as Hugo, 17 at the time.
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But they never got to that. How was that?
Frieda's and Dad's parents spent quite a bit of time in each other's company as witnessed by the many photographs taken of the two families together. Frieda and Dad were teenagers at this time and seemed to take an immediate liking to each other.I get the impression from things said in other family letters that Frieda at this period in her life was considered rather 'wild'. She did seem to take a particular delight in teasing Dad, and I think this was because Dad was shy and self-deprecating and she was trying to bring him out of himself.
Families de Groot and Wiberg. Out for a family walk in Japan.
Frieda in the middle, Hugo far right.
As usual in Army circles it only took a few years before the parents got new marching orders. In April, 1920, Johannes de Groot was sent to Switzerland as Territorial Commander. A month earlier Lt.Colonel Sven Wiberg was transferred back to Sweden where Hugo, to his disgust, was drafted for the compulsary military service in the Swedish Armed Forces.
From this time on (1921-25) Frieda and Hugo corresponded regularly. Hugo saved many of Frieda's letters, which his daughter Mary later handed over to me. What we know comes largely from these letters.
In 1922 Frieda became a SA officer herself, but after a short period seemed to have overworked herself and was sent for a couple of months "to the mountains" for recuperation.
Mary continues:
While recuperating,Frieda wrote to Hugo. Although Frieda liked to tease, she was very serious in her endeavors to win Hugo over to Christ. The greatest portion of her letters were written trying to convince Hugo of Christ's love for him, and trying valiantly to overcome Dad's feelings of inadequacy and selfdoubt.Friedas mother, Leonarda, had found signs of beginning cancer already before they left Japan. She died in 1924.After Frieda's return from the sanitorium, she was not well enough to resume her Corps duties so she was given an appointment to Salvation Army Headquarters in Switzerland. She became secretary for her father. She had to spend a great deal of time in bed rest. But she was also called upon at this time to use up most of her reserves of energy to care for her mother in her last months on earth.
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Mary continues: Frieda felt a great burden of responsability during her mother's illness and after her death, not only for her father (who was broken hearted after Leonarda's death, and could barely function in his grief) but for her brothers as well. Her mother had especially given Frieda the responsibility of Leo, her brother, who had not been saved. Frieda took her responsibility very seriously and not only converted Leo, but cared for her father and his job responsibilities -- to the detriment of her health. |
All during this time Frieda was writing to Dad. I think it helped her to express her pain and anguish on paper. I also think she liked Dad a lot. Although the word 'love' was never spoken either in Frieda's letters or in the one letter I have that Dad wrote to Frieda, Dad seemed to be quite serious in his courtship of Frieda because Frieda mentions in her letters that he sent her candy, flowers, jewelry (even a rosary in one case), and many American magazines and comics for her and her brothers Leo and Chris.I think the social conventions of the day prevented them from speaking of love unless there was a formal understanding between them and their parents. So I think they poured out their hearts by speaking of the soul. - - - I sincerely think that if they had been living closer they would have gotten married.
How do such rumours come about? Frieda was away in Switzerland. Hugo came in from California. And as we know the correspondence between the two had not been very hot. Rumours have their own ways.But the next year, when they both were serving as sergeants at the Training College, some of the Cadets found out that he had a picture of Mary Loeffler in his watch.
This is where the many questions and "I wonders" come into the story. Did Hugo feel any allegiance to Frieda? After all, he seemed to be courting her rather seriously. Just what was their relationship? When did he fall in love with Mary Loeffler? How and when was he planning to tell Frieda? If Frieda hadn't come to America, what then?
The last personal letter that we have from Frieda to Hugo (Oct 9th 1926) was to tell him that she and her father were coming to America. Frieda writes:
The General has given us nearly 2 months furlough to go and see the boys [Frieda's brothers Chris and Leo], before we farewell from Switzerland and go to the end of the world from where we will not be able to hop over so easily. [Later turned out to be South Africa.]She was trying to make arrangements for a meeting and wondered if they would find the time and opportunity to do so. (It might not have been that easy. Frieda's brothers lived in Boston, whereas Hugo lived i New York City and his retired parents lived in Bergenfiels, N.J.)
Did Frieda and Hugo ever meet? Did Frieda find out about Mary Loeffler? (Was there at that time anything to "find out"?) Perhaps Hugo even proposed to Frieda but was turned down? We do not know.
However, Hugo never forgot Frieda. Later in his life he spoke a few words with Frieda's son Sven on the telephone when passing through Stockholm. He also sent him this nice picture of Frieda and her mother Leonarda.
Sven Wickberg (quoting Mary and Frieda)
sw@abc.se
1998 06 04; 1999 02 06; 1999 03 10; 1999 04 18
